My sacrifice is my own lifestyle,
For as long as I can remember, I have sacrificed my independence and desires in order to satisfy others. This was particularly hard since I am an adopted, only child, with very overbearing parents.
Despite knowing what I wanted, my parents shut down my decisions all the time, and expected me to be happy with the decisions they made for me. This eventually made me think that my wants and needs simply didn’t matter. So, I would sacrifice as much of my decision-making right away. Assuming my ideas would be shut down anyway, I put everything in other people’s hands. That way I wouldn’t get my hopes up, just for them to be destroyed by others.
My parents chose my hobbies, what college I went to, my friends, and even my career path.
Now that I have reached adulthood, I don’t know how to make decisions for myself, since I’m so used to giving up my decisions to someone else. It’s almost as if I am missing a huge part of myself, and have become incapable of trusting myself.
Sometimes, I don’t even want to make decisions.
It’s too stressful, but I know I’ll eventually have to make choices on my own.
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