Rock Candy Reviews

(Even if it doesn’t really count)

My life as an only child has always felt incomplete, no matter what I accomplished. This is mainly because how many people in my life have diminished my successes when they find out I have no siblings. As if the absence of an older or younger sibling meant that I never had to work for anything.

I knew from around the age of 9, that most people would assume I was lazy and spoiled. So I did everything in power to prove them wrong as I grew up. Studying hard, and setting goals for myself was just the tip of the iceberg. Making use of my time to always be improving my physical and mental strength was constantly on my mind, and getting in trouble at school was simply not an option. I would even sacrifice my personal hobbies and suppress my emotions in order to appear more mature.

And unfortunately, it worked.

The adults in my life praised me for being respectful and “not like other kids”. It made me feel good about myself, but it only lasted about 2 or 3 years.

Before I knew it, my teachers, my peers, and even random strangers, were back to calling me spoiled. I eventually stopped asking for Birthday or Christmas gifts, because people would think I didn’t deserve them. It didn’t matter that I got straight A’s, never talked back, or always did what I was told. It didn’t even matter when I would help my parents with their work, and volunteered myself for extra credit and leadership roles in activities. Whenever I was praised or rewarded, there would always be someone to remind me that I wasn’t a normal kid. That kids with siblings have it harder, and still accomplish the same things.

This of course lead me to be stressed and over sensitive all the time. While other kids were complaining about their annoying brothers and sisters, I was brainstorming ways to earn their respect so they wouldn’t criticize my lifestyle. I felt like an outsider, and that my work ethic would never be enough for anyone.

Also, overworking myself from a young age has made me a bitter and burnt out adult. I have trouble making friends, and workplaces overwhelm me because I’m so worried about people accusing me of not trying hard enough.

All this is to say that labels and stereotypes really do exist and hurt people. They change the way people live their lives and see themselves. People will label you before they even get to know you. If we are not willing to listen to each other’s stories to learn the context behind the present, we will continue to hurt people.